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After Skooma Parley
"After Skooma Parley" is the 131st episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the 42nd and final episode of Season 6. The episode is an alternate take on the episode "Skooma Parley" from season five. The creators of the series advertised it as the "Skyrim For Pimps finale" and called on the audience to "relive the moments leading up to the death of S'oggy Balls." Plot The episode begins, in medias res, with a black screen with the text "8:43 PM" as Brad the Bard offers to sing a "commemorative song" much to Fün and Crotch's dismay. It appears S'oggy has just been killed and Brad starts singing an epic on how S'oggy was torturing Crotch by telling his long story. Brad's song provides a quick recap, detailing the heinous acts the villain S'oggy has done. The song transitions into a flashback as the shot slowly backs on to Cock's body; the torch beside him roaring louder and S'oggy's story becoming quieter as the shot approaches Cock's still body. The shot then dissolves into an aerial shot of Cock and then dissolves again into blue as chanting religious music plays in the background. Cock is back in the Game Society Pimps heaven and is greeted by the god Adam. He is excited to be back in this divine land, thinking he has finally died. With great difficulty, as Cock interrupts Adam every few seconds, Adam corrects Cock, saying that he is just in a coma and that he will wake up a week later. He tells Cock that he is proud of him for completing the main storyline and that he had proven himself to be a true hero. This makes Cock ecstatic. Furthermore, Cock is rewarded with immortality with one string attached. The Game Society Pimps gods want S'oggy dead by invoking the Khajiit tradition of Skooma Parley and killing him when he's high. When Cock asks why they want this S'oggy individual dead in that specific manner, Adam responds that this way "it will be such an epic finale." Elaborating further, Adam suspects that "people would cry, people would laugh, they won't know how to react; some people will endlessly bitch about wanting him (S'oggy) to come back, but he won't, he will never come back because he will die in the most epic conclusion possible." Cock agrees with Adam saying that it's a great idea and the gods drop Cock back down to the ground. Not that he has a choice, Cock complains that he doesn't want to be dropped without his clothes. As Cock falls, Adam contemplates that the series will soon be over and they will be free from making Skyrim For Pimps. Aaron and Emre nod. Adam then quickly reveals that he fooled Cock into thinking he's immortal. Brad's song resumes, singing of how Cock climbed up the mountain to invoke Skooma Parley. Once Skooma Parley is invoked, the story cuts to a conversation between Fün and Cock. Fün complains that Frea's drugs were wearing off and she was starting to complain that she wanted to go back to her village. Cock suggest she give her more drugs, specifically the drug snow. So Cock and Fün travel to the troll's lair to get pee from it as it is the source of the drug. Cock tricks Fün into performing cunnilingus on the troll and has her tell why she wants the leg of goat roast so badly. Fün tells him that it's for true love, Astrid. Cock confides to her that he has a plan to get her her leg of goat roast back from S'oggy. Meanwhile, Crotch revives S'oggy's dead girlfriend, Aela, and marries her. Unlike the "Skooma Parley" episode in season five, the audience is able to experience General Burnside's (aka Mai Dik's) point of view. She is horrified of the new turn of events as she is in love with S'oggy and she was the one who killed Aela in the first place. General Burnside complains that Aela doesn't even have any facial hair and doesn't understand why S'oggy would pick her over him. However, she is unable to communicate that. She also reveals that S'oggy may have been abused by his grandfather Squ'ishyballs, although how she knew that is unclear. Brad's song resumes again, taking the audience back to Cock Tower. Cock announces that no goblins are allowed at his residence. S'oggy says a heartfelt goodbye while General Burnside tries to warn him that entering Cock Tower was a mistake. After their good byes, General Burnside runs away insisting that she hates S'oggy now. Brad now updates the audience to where S'oggy was being serviced by a prostitute. While this was going on, Cock Nibbler gathers Fün, Crotch, and Brad the Bard to the kitchen to inform them of his plan to kill S'oggy. He assures them that he was invincible and that S'oggy would be too high to fight back. After they were all done, Cock promises that they will have a feast served by his talented cook. Crotch however, realizes that the cook was his old classmate that he killed, J'zargo. He was first shocked to see him but he first concluded that this J'zargo must be the clone that the real J'zargo kept around to attend class while the real J'zargo got high on skooma. Crotch also considered a possibility that this was the real J'zargo and the clone was the one he killed. He honestly couldn't tell. After a little comic relief with J'zargo, Cock declares that this is it, it was finally time to end Skyrim For Pimps. The shot then cuts to S'oggy who enters the main hall. There, he is greeted by the three dragonborn and a ton of skooma. They offer their condolences for treating S'oggy wrong and he starts imbibing the whole lot beginning his skooma break. Usually during skooma breaks, S'oggy would hallucinate, creating a weapon in his homeland of Elsweyr but in this episode, the audience witness what S'oggy really looks like when he's high. S'oggy dances around mumbling about. The three dragonborns are astonished at what they see but they know they must carry out their mission to kill S'oggy. For Crotch, it was to get revenge for the murder of his family and the gross treatment of their corpses. For Fün, it was to get back her leg of goat roast and finally be reunited with her true love Astrid. And for Cock Nibbler, it was to carry out what his Game Society Pimps gods wanted him to do, end Skyrim For Pimps, with the epic conclusion of S'oggy's death. S'oggy is repeatedly shot by arrows but S'oggy, in his last ditch efforts, is able to kill Cock. His life soon starts flashing before him, repeatedly seeing Skullcat, the pirate Khajiit whose famous word is "eh." He also sees J'zargo, or his clone, walking by asking him if he had mastered the expert level destruction spell yet. In the episode Skooma Parley, the audience did not know if this was another one of his hallucinations but as revealed in this episode, it was the J'zargo from Cock's kitchen. S'oggy's perspective fades to black and Adam hanging out in Game Society Pimps heaven addresses his fellow gods, Aaron and Emre, "Gentlemen, Skyrim For Pimps is finally over; hand jobs for everyone." Now caught up to where the story started in the beginning of this episode, Brad finishes out the rest of the song. He sings about S'oggy and Cock's death and how Cock's death now means that he is now free from sucking on Dragon cock (which is incorrect as the rights to Brad will be given to Paarthurnax as stated in Cock's will). As the song finishes, Crotch and Fün notices S'oggy and Cock's body move a little accompanied by the sound of static. Suddenly the screen becomes green and the screen zooms out to reveal that tentacles have taken over in what appears to be in another dimension/plane. Brad yells in horror and then the screen cuts to Adam standing in Game Society Pimps heaven. He then opens his mouth to calmly reveal to the audience; "Okay. There's going to be a seventh season." His comment is soon accompanied by mysterious laughter and the screen turns pitch black with the text "Season 7 Coming Soon (For Real)." Video See also * Season 6 * Skooma Parley - the events from another perspective * Timeline Category:Season 6 Category:Episodes